Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Dear Ding,
lol. It's been a long time. I guess we're both really busy on the other side of the world. Hesitating. Waiting for the other half to email first. Stalemate. And we don't hear from one another for a long time. I guess school's starting on your side soon (when is it?), and things are starting to get back to the rhythm of work with the arrival of your homework. On this side it's no different, work is starting to pile up with the onset of the September holidays, while exam preparations are starting to eat up a big chunk of my time. So sorry if i've ignored you. Well at least I'm trying my best to keep you in prayer. Somehow, we're all really starting to miss you more and more. And I keep realising that time passes so quick and that pretty soon we'll all be in Year 5. Separated into different classes by then, i wonder whether our friendship will still persist on.
Mdm Loo is finally back, and we're getting pumped up with chinese work again. It's a good thing I guess. But too much stress is also a little hard to bear. Destressing has been in the form of playing piano, or watching TV, or designing blogskins, or simply just typing emails such as I'm doing now.
I'm sorry there's not much to talk about :(. Life in Singapore is as per normal, as per what you would know. And honestly, being apart has diminished the number of talking topics we could chat about. I feel a sense of sorrow everything I voice convo with ya and there's a moment of silence when no one is sure how to go on. It's inevitable though, long distance friendships will never last in a long run. And that saddens me because i know one day we will just completely lose touch. Perhaps you never did feel the same way as I did about friends. It always seemed that way, Friendships are things I'm willing to guard with all that I am, friendships are priceless, and losing a friend is one of the most painful experiences I could ever go through. I don't know why though. Perhaps there was a time I was lonely, struggling in solitude, and had so few earthly friends to speak of, and so every friend to me is a gem. Perhaps that's why I'm so 'doggy' sometimes, I just can't let go of a good friend.
I think you're aware that sometimes you've hurt me unknowingly...don't need to emphasize that. And I think many times I've hurt you as well. But there's always reconciliation i guess. Thank God.
Just can't help thinking back on the day you left Singapore. It was such a sad sight. When everyone was praying for you there was a certain sense of calm, of joy yet a certain sense of yearning and hope that you wouldn't go. I fought to hold back any tears because i wanted you to stay strong. But then again, I've never seen you shed tears, so i suppose you were a stronger person than me any day. Azmi kept teasing me, needless to say, but I tried to remain strong. But it was a sad night. Conflicting emotions. God told me to be joyful but I was quite sad inside. The things i wrote to you on the day before, u still have them? God reminded me that what's most important is Him and not you or myself. So i tried to focus on that.
Sorry lah, I just can't help being emotional sometimes. It's just me. And i know it makes people feel uncomfortable. But there's a part in me that I always try to hide. And I hope you'll understand. Tim is always seen as such a optimistic and happy person. But there are times when i can be down as well. And that's when I needs support.
Perhaps it's my past struggles coming to haunt me again. sigh.
But then. I remember I've always told u to rejoice in the Lord. So i should do that too as well :)
Recently, there's been this Custodian day thing in school. Where custodians are honored and given prizes and stuff. Student Council Initiative. We were given a piece of colored paper to design something for the custodians. Perhaps the response would have been better had you been around ...or had it been a girl's school :D
Anyway...do hope you reply soon k?
Tim
Thanks to all the blogs i referred to (countless) for html code help :) (esp. cyn' and sixseven)
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