Hi Tim,

Irrelevant message 1:
Could you just run by me again the url of the blog that this is supposed to
be on? I'm sorry I seem to have misplaced it. Ok thats a lie , I never
remembered it (how terrible).

Irrelevant Message 2:
I'm sorry for having to bother you when its so busy for you (you know the hw
thing) but daniel was saying you were still keeping stuff so.... yeah.

I really want to send pics acrosss... just not sure how to do it without
jamming anyone's mailbox. Have to admit, my sis did take some good pictures.

Just had a dream about BB last nite, somehow I was wearing slippers and Mr
Sim in sunglasses. Really, really weird. Of course there were other people
around, like Kenneth, Tim blah blah.

Looking through my drafts (cos this was saved in my draft for half a day) I
found an unsent letter supposedly for Mr Simon Lai (Awards, start of the
year, get to know thing).

Otherwise school here has been slack. Quite lar, but dunno why I seem to be
short on time always. Most of the homework is copying from the textbook
(ahem, sociology, biology) and others are plain repetitive (ahem physics).
not really their fault i guess, more like me choosing the wrong classes. US
history is surprisingly ok - at least a bit of thinking, calculus is
challenging (implicit diff now), journalism is nerve wracking when youre out
of ideas (sch newspaper eh) and the PE class (I got stuck in the only one
that is slack - some building teamwork thing).

Snippets from school. Its PE class, and I find out that theres this Israeli
guy who is also in my Physics class who has stayed in Singapore for 7 years
(at Peck Hay, near ACS(J)). Then it turns ot someone in my US history class
has actually been to Singapore before (like whoa) and was saying its so sad
there are Muslim insurgents causing trouble in Thailand as it is really a
nice place (for current events - but she though it was in the Middle
east?!?) Then the Math teacher, Mr (Huff + C) (the integral thing) says that
some people who come from middle school are really smart but they never used
their brains in middle school (cos it was brainless) and coming to high
school was more brain work. I almost choked. In Journalism, I turned in some
crappy draft 1.1 about how the school newspaper is getting its new name. The
teacher said se liked my 'voice' but totally agreed with me that many parts
were completely irrelavant. Weekends are spent travelling (this week it was
new Hampshire lakes region)so hw has to be done before then. Not impossible,
but cuts a lot of hw time. realised I somehow didn't bring a protractor
here.

I finally wrote to Loo the same day I last wrote here, but I can't remember
whether I wrote to Sandra Sim.

and lastly, the friends I've made thus far. Theres Luke, whose been here
for 2 years, he's either 17 or 18, he drives a really old jeep with a German
flag (yes daryl(s)?) It has a name, but its not particularly decent (the
name, that is). Then theres Gabriel (gabe) who is also new, he's hispanic
and in the year lower than mine. He plays drums for the marching band and
hates math. There's also Keith, from Utah (but not a Mormon - just in case
daniel is wondering). He's probably what people in S'pore would think an
average american kid is - shoulder length hair, does all the high fives
stuff, skateboards, drives, thats keith. Theres also Dell (short for
Waddell) from Nebraska, where they do crazy stuff after scoring goals in
soccer (I'll show when I get back). The only trouble is that my parents
don't want me hanging out with them after school, which is a major prob.

Ding

Hope you gets well soon Ding.

And school's been really tough here. Suddenly being buried by a mound of homework, struggling to find the time to get studying done. Musing over the meaning of life. 19 days to the exams..Mrs Carol Low has begun a countdown.

Bible Quiz results: 4th place. Not very well deserved considering I never read the tested books till the day before. Thank God. Haha Mr Ng got his gold again. we had to play chapteh for one of the games...i got a hopeless 2 hits. you could have done much better given those juggling skills :P.

With the return of school...of course comes the return of soccer on the astrofield. A true joy that we hope to share with you when you return soon. And so sorry you can't play on the school soccer team...but your dad's right...you don't have to prove yourself! God has made you perfect in His sight, there's nothing to proof to people, seek to be a God-pleaser and not a Man-pleaser. The former is much more important i guess. Of course, it's not totally wrong to want to prove yourself...seeing that everyone hopes to get some attention now and then, and that we do need that occasional boost of self-esteem, but let it not be your primary focus! Be careful to glorify God and not yourself k? Impress in your small little ways, small gestures, small thoughtful actions (which you are full of...i believe) and you should do fine after awhile.

Bio's not useless lor! in fact come and take bio with me next year :P and (lol) Chinese A2!!! haha...thinking about your subject combination yet? Which reminds me of all those talks they've been giving on university education...super sian....engineering, IT...wah...every monday. Also, there have been ongoing talks about next year's EE (Extended Essay), so perhaps you shld start thinking about these things. Meanwhile...there's some homework I've got for you...mostly Amath. Will see if I can get Carol Low to send you the Chem stuff.

I wish i did have as much to talk about as you did. Pity life's here been the same routine over and over. Sometimes there's always that feeling of going nowhere. Even start to question if the relationship with God is going nowhere. sigh.

Sandra Sim's getting quite mad with me lor. All the SL stuff. MacRitchie...yet to do it yet. Bad bad. And all the responsibility always falls on poor little Tim :(

One day we must have that voice convo again. One day. Perhaps when I'm resting from mugging :) and when you're free from school :D

And have fun with those jeans...remembering that you will have to revert back to the striped tie when you return :D

God Bless

Tim

Hi Tim,

just wondering whether you have been colleting my stuff. I think you have a
bit more right, cos my aunt might call you again. sorry for the
inconvenience

Ding

Well actually I've been wearing jeans, but nehmin...

I'd like to say I've been very busy but I'm quite sure thats a lie. Prolly
what happened was that I just didn't feel like writing emails (priorities,
heh). And for the record I haven't written anything to mdm loo, AT, SS. And
I'm not proud of that.


I don't know 'Thank you for giving to the Lord' and I missed Mr Azmi's
birthday. As I said, is typical behaviour, yours really was an anomaly. Then
Phil goes high cos he bought a mike and wanted to talk, and I was busy, well
busy enough with other convos... so again, no parkay (what does this mean
anw, I think I'm using it wrongly).

Playing against Wycliffe, heh. he's got history, all right. And don't worry,
I know exactly who ET (Ellandrus) is. Yeah the JLow thing was quite cool,
the first time he would own me so flat (in marks).

Ok, so about school here. First 2 days was kind of lonesome, hooked up some
decent conversation with other people on Thursday and Friday, today was a
little quieter. Always wondered what other people would do in this situation
(like daniel and jlow shouldn't hae any trouble fitting in, but abt people
like you and fab, hmm). I guess i takes an amount of effort to actually go
out and find friends. I realised most of my friends came prolly cause we got
stuck in the same group, (hendra, fab, dan, Jlow, tim) or on the same route
home (patrique, phil, jiaqiang to an extent)

And my mindset was probably a little skewed. I think I have this underlying
current in me, that I need to do reasonably well to prove something. And to
prove it. like being in gep, black plastic glasses, especially in p6, sec 1
I had this mainstreamers think I'm a geek and I need to show them I can
actually play football well thing, which never really worked out (think of
all the lost interclasses and the sad, sad outing in desaru). And I think I
brought it over here. I desperately wanted to join soccer, and when i
couldn't (cos of paperwork issues - so I didnt play sports in school at all
because I ddint take a physical check up, what a laugh), I kept on mulling
over it.

I guess it got better when I started taking to people, but the thought that
I could have met more people through soccer just refuses to go away. And it
happened again today when like 1/4 of the school turns up in a soccer
uniform of some sort.

Then my dad comes along and says theres nothing to prove, and you cant
really measure success in school by the number of friends you make... and it
sort of makes sense. a little, I guess.

Oh yeah, the subjects. Bio is like going to be a 'useless' I think, come on,
colouring at this stage? The non AP classes are much less intensive than the
AP ones (math and phys for me). I already defaulted on math hw twice (how
baad can i get). Well at least he's understanding about thats.

Ok. Times to eats dinner. And did I mention that I'm currently a little sick
which is why i'm lying down on my bed using the com to write to you?

byee

Si Yan, Ding

Or at least that's what they'll call it here. September holidays, or in other words, mugging fiesta. Exams are in 3 weeks time, i guess the atmosphere must be eons away from what you're feeling there. But it's been late nights, struggling to get the balance between work and play, and just trying to find time to spend with God and to spend typing emails such as these. Sorry I haven't been available to email you or anything. But at least absence makes the heart fonder. From the very "un-updated" blog i realise that it's been a week since our last contact. sigh.

Oh well. I guess it'll be nice for me to update you on stuff that's happening back here (Since these stuff tend to be more interesting than emailing about philosophy or like the cheem cheem things that i tend to talk about):

It'll be nice to start with Teacher's days celebrations I guess:

ACES day was a joke. We walked around the school. Since when was the school big enough for that?

It was the best teachers' day in a long long time. Student council and prefects spearheaded it, and it was, I might say, the best thing they've done in a long time. It was simply, in a word touching, as the students who performed sang their hearts out to the teachers, and at the end we all sang 'Thank you for giving to the Lord' ( you should know this song?) in unison. It was enough drive emotional Tim to tears. Anyway, there were weird videos screened, Elaine Lee making a big joke of herself :D, Brian Chirnside saying that he worked for the money, Elaine Lee telling teachers to leave teaching 'while they could'. But it was all in jest. Inside they meant differently i guess. And it was scary to see like Yvonne Lim giggling on school-wide television.

And so on teacher's day i got my presents. Which i seriously don't deserve at all....I've never given anything to anyone :(. But Sean got me a yellow and blue soccer ball. brand-new. So sweet. And on that very day Fab and I stayed back to kick the ball around, with Shouren (you would have been there too!). Anyway, we later crashed some Sec3s and played against them (no...not 3 on so many, we had other sec3s to help us as well). So we felt the pain of playing without knowing the names of half the people in our soccer team, while the other team was practically owning us (Arguably it would have been different had you been there). Among the opponents' team was a certain Wycliffe (notorious BB pon tang person), who though super pro, was super stuck up as well (as in arrogant). Was a bit annoying every time he stood next to you, asked for the goalkeeper to pass, and said that the 'bounce would get you'. And every time he tried to score from the corner keep saying that the goalkeeper couldn't do anything to stop it. (it was raining really badly). Anyway, Jin and ET (not the alien...but we did play with this ET guy b4) crashed as well :D and we got better. A bit.

And so the holidays began. And it was really mugging and just mugging for me. Unfortunately that was all I was good for that day. And you're really lucky you got to skip this year's exams haha. Btw, i finally got all the Amath worksheets from Daniel Yew, and i don't know how to get them to you. haha, 85% average this term...I DEPROVED from 87% noooo. J Low was revelling in his 82% and bragging in front of Daniel till he saw my mark :P.

Next day. Mr Azmi took Fab and I out for lunch (in celebration of my bdae), in his usual 'I must overfeed them' spirit, he brought us to Jack's Place. I ate so much fried stuff. And so much steak. Oh no! We felt bad that he spent so much on us. As usual. He did mention that had you been around we would have called you along as well :D. But anyway, Mr Azmi was doing this 'Yum, Yum' thing at Fabriz while eating and slowly chewing on a mushroom. Fab was disgusted. But we got back at Mr Azmi by doing it with carrots and cauliflowers (which we found out he didnt' like...haha).

That wasn't it, he took us to Expo for this COMEX fair, with all these digital gadgets and stuff, and he went there to buy something for my birthday. Do you believe it? We felt worse than ever before. Seriously bad bad bad. Fab's Ipod was spoilt so Mr Azmi got him an Creative mp3 player, and he probably thought it would be nice to get one for me too...so that's what he did. Ouch to his pocket, it was a good $237 (each!), and we felt really really pai seh. He got me a pink one though...what was that for? Anyway. Remember that you would have been around too had you not been in America. Me and Fab were just thinking of how you would have responded to such generosity of Mr Azmi. I think you would have ran off somewhere and hid, or like totally faint on the spot. lol. So now i have an mp3 player. Quite useful actually...but I still feel bad. Anyway, Mr Azmi's bdae on 9 Sep, don't forget to wish him. I'm giving him a wooden model car because he asked for a mercedes :P

The next day was BB. Fab brought his mp3 player and was belting out POKEMON theme song on it. With BONG! It was quite a slow and boring parade i must admit. The sec1s played waterbomb game - the preparation time was longer than the playing time. They were made to roll in the sand pit at the track...eeee. Anyway. Had BS as well. We went down to Bethany Methodist Home and talked to the old folks there. How wonderful God is that he empowers people with a good Chinese vocab and speaking ability when needed. That day i spoke exceptionally well. God's blessing. His glory. But i went home that day with a changed perspective of things.

Sunday. haha you read on my blog about a certain Jemimah. Ya we finally got our first fish from the Tracing. Thank God for His little miracle!

Monday Study. Tuesday Study. Whole day at home. Nothing much i could talk about except that I enjoyed using the new mp3 player whlie doing work. But i have become more slack. Bad thing at this point in time.

Today. Soccer. Derek's initiative. We had a good round of just whacking my new ball around. kenny really missed soccer. fab chose sleeping over kicking. Arj was around. JLow was around and he never did disappoint us - always delivering those corners the other way :). Elliot was the surprise person who showed up. Nevertheless we had fun playing. Ate lunch at Wah Chee, some place opposite school on the side of my house. Next time we'll take you there. 24 bucks spread over 6 people. Not that bad lah. But you would think differently.

Anyway. enough about me. Glad to know that things are finally moving where you are. School's a great experience you must continue to enjoy and tell me about k? And Bio...haha. And you will shine when they talk about the Crucible and stuff :D. And since when were you a tour guide....haha teach me some french when you come back. Fast food is bad anywhere...seriously, and it makes you FAT!!! ahhhhhhh. Ok wadever.

Anyway, i take it u haven't read my blog in a long time. The derek thing was qutie long ago :). And ya i still feel i'm silly to feel that way. Maybe it's just because they were girls. sigh.

God Bless you always Ding :D

thanks for taking time to email me :D

Tim

At least that's what they call it here.

A 3 day weekend that resulted in a 1600km trek (ok it was a drive) from
bedford to montreal to quebec city then back to bedford (you can check it up
on mapquest).

Saturday
Woke up early, packed all our stuff in the car, drove up to montreal.
Stopped by in Vermont to see the Bem and Jerry's Ice Cream factory (american
pie tastes very, very nice). And everyone in the States can sing the chorus
of a song of the same name (daniel should be familiar with this too, ahem
LDP). Got to Montreal in the afternoon, took on duties as navigator and tour
guide. Learnt some French (well actually its quebec-ese). First thought of
Canada - it smelled bad. Just as we crossed the border, we were greeting
with cow smells. But it got better. Montreael is like this island city
(familiar eh). We explored the old town (vieux montreal) and chinatown
(quatierre chinois), went up this funiculaire and biodome (something to do
with the 1976 olympics, the funiculaire being some seng-et train that leads
to a tower and the biodome being what used to be a velodrome ie. cycling
stadium). Lots of trouble finding the motel (well it was near the airport -
cheaper). Booked a cheap hotel for sunday nite (original 180, now 90
canadian dollars). Cheap for 5 people lar.

Sunday
rain allegedly from the remnants of tropical storm anesto (ernesto?) chilled
the place. Woke up late, ended missing the english service at the chinese
baptist church in montreal and going for the chinese-cantonese one instead.
Also saw this monstrous building (St Joseph's Oratorio). Drove round the
circuit gilles de villenueve (again daniel would know). Very zai (in more
ways than one).Then we tried to take the scenic route to quebec city(chemin
du roi - king's way) and ended up getting there at nightfall. Tried Poutine
(french fries in gravy with cheese). canadian fast food is baaaad.

Monday
Labor day. resumed tour guide duties in the lite rain, quebec old town,
seeing another monstrous building (Chateau Frontenac). Its all french here.
Saw this really cool chess set (with cats and mice). A short jaunt on the
ile d Orlean (an island) with many houses that are red and white. Well its
supposed to be known for its rusticness. Then the very very long trip back,
with unfortunate disruptions and getting offtracked finding petrol stations
(For the record we pumped 2 full tanks in one day). Kepy awake by noxious
sulphurous gaseous emissions by my brother. He's nasty, all right. my mum
had to throw away the basil plant she kept from canada at the border guard.
Got home really late. Don't we just love the china tour group travelling
lifestyle?

Tuesday
First day of school.School Bus (FOC) arrives at 7am. Still don't know what
to say when ppl come up to me and say "whats up". As with all first days of
school its quite boring. But I shall try to describe it well. School is
split into 3 different days. day 1, 2 and 3. and it contines to rotate. like
that.

Homeroom (aka classroom). Its where youre supposed to be in the early
morning and for study period. Otherwise I'll probably never see my
"classmates" at all. It has a clock (the old type where the second hand
moves continuously , not in jerks) and a tattered american flag. And the
pledge is really, really short. The principal and teachers are generally
nice people.

First period, English. The teacher (a guy named mr berlino) talked for the
whole time. They all think I'm Si, Ding (dont blame them, really). He's
going to cover poetry (suprise), short stories (gasp) and novels
(Huckleberry finn, great gatsby). Not to mention puritan literature (aka
the crucible) and ghastly grammar. Apparently SAT is taken in the year i'm
in. Doesn't think much about Cliffnotes

Second period, AP Calc. The class was intact from the previous year
apparently, and only me and another guy are new. Well, the teacher is a
triathlete who likes to talk about his children. Nice class of people who
claim to like math.

Break. Did nothing really. Can' t play soccer (or any other games) during
break or lunch. Real sad.

third period, US History. Now what would I be doing here? At least the
teacher is nice and expects everyone to be nice (much unlike Alvin tan).
Hopefully I'll develop the critical analytical skills they claim to foster.

Fourth period, Sociology. I took this for fun. Finds out the teacher is a
little dramatic (in an irish way). Introduced to us the socialogical method
of thinking - by thinking about the factors that would impact him and his
wife decision to have a second child by IVF). He the kind of teacher i think
daryl would like (thats probably the best way to describe him). Showed us a
pic of his first daughter (by IVF too)

Fifth period, Biology. Now what would Ding be doing here? Well it turns out
that most ppl in my year would be taking this as their science class.
Teacher has a pic of her and her daughter. She's about phuan's build but
nothing like phuan in terms of personality. She going to give us a stamp for
every lesson we're on time (????) and belives in making us force keep an
interactive notebook to facilitate learning. First by listening, then by
writing and rewriting notes, then by drawing diagrams (compulsory to be
colourful). Its supposed to be memorising based and starts with organic
chem.

End School.

(oh yeah and the derek thing, i might feel that way too so relax, k?)

So I started writing this email just as you sent the latest one (actually I
only thought of the title) before getting diverted and distracted. Maybe
I'll start with the weekend.

My Cuz arrived on wednesday nite with his girlfriend (whom we only knew as
MJ until we met her and he told us it was Ming Joo and my mum had all sorts
of trouble remembering her name like Ming J,M Joo,). And with him came the
homework, which really wasnt as much as I expected.. but oh well not like
i've been doing the other homeworks anyway. The next day was spent in town,
and so was friday, which probably explains my disappearance. On Saturday, we
went up to Maine, to this place called Acadia, well its coastal scenery ,
you get to see geog coastal features like tobolos and all that jazz (never
heard of this phrase before). On Sunday it was the Church finding thing
again, we found a united methodist church, there were 10 ppl, mostly white
headed. Erm I guess my first reaction was one of disappointment... Why of
all churches to pick one like that ( the pianist was playing classical music
for the 'special music' section and the 'blue danube' for the postlude and
for the other songs just playing the melody, then there was this lighting of
the peace candle thingy). I guess its easy to be judgemental and that
exactly it. I don't my cousin's girlfriend is Christian so it was like why
of all places. I guess it also occured to me that God could obviously work
thru this Church somehow and that a church that I might be comfortable with
might not be the best...

Then again, putting it into perspective, I don't think its so much about the
church but how we lived to testify to her but that's another issue
altogether.

After church we went to a flea market... ther were these " only left handed
people are in their right minds" shirts which i thought would be nice for
the resident left handed activist in 4.10, but i realised they might be a
little too cheesy, even for him.

Monday, school orientation for freshmen (9th graders, probably 14 year olds
which look like the 16 year olds) and new students (like me). Toured the
school, its 800 students strong, settled subjects as well (looks like i'm
taking bio)... and then rammed into immunization problems

when they photocopied my health booklet (brought over by my dear cuz) ,they
forgot the P6 one, so the nurse thought i was missing an MMR. Then,
apparently Singapore is a TB high risk spot, so even if I had been BCGed, it
wouldn't have made a dif. Then they also have this habit of immunizing
against chicken pox even after you have had chicken pox.. my dad was having
a hard time trying to convince us its a difference in perspective, weighing
cost and effect between us and the US. So it would make sense to just take
the Mantoux test and confirm I'm Tb-less. then my dad got this idea that the
standards are different here for that so positive here may be negative in
Singapore (its all abt whether its worth treating).

Then theres still the need to take a physical (full body) before entering
school. Looks like I'll probably not be in the school team here (probably
wont make it anyway) And my cousin left already.
School starts Sept 5.

So now to domestic issues. Glad to hear Mdm Loo is back, but I still have my
Hw. About me being stronger emotionally then you, I humbly beg to differ. We
just cry about different things, probably cos of different priorities. I've
no idea why i didn't cry at the airport (so much for priorities) since my
sister who was so looking forward to coming here bawled her eyes out at the
departure lounge.

Then I neglected QT for the whole time my cousin was here barring the first
day.

Umm and sorry for being so neglectful on msn (i've been doing that to a lot
of people lately)

I guess the worst part is not taoing on msn but being so nonchalant now.
And I cant change that yet

Dear Ding,

lol. It's been a long time. I guess we're both really busy on the other side of the world. Hesitating. Waiting for the other half to email first. Stalemate. And we don't hear from one another for a long time. I guess school's starting on your side soon (when is it?), and things are starting to get back to the rhythm of work with the arrival of your homework. On this side it's no different, work is starting to pile up with the onset of the September holidays, while exam preparations are starting to eat up a big chunk of my time. So sorry if i've ignored you. Well at least I'm trying my best to keep you in prayer. Somehow, we're all really starting to miss you more and more. And I keep realising that time passes so quick and that pretty soon we'll all be in Year 5. Separated into different classes by then, i wonder whether our friendship will still persist on.

Mdm Loo is finally back, and we're getting pumped up with chinese work again. It's a good thing I guess. But too much stress is also a little hard to bear. Destressing has been in the form of playing piano, or watching TV, or designing blogskins, or simply just typing emails such as I'm doing now.

I'm sorry there's not much to talk about :(. Life in Singapore is as per normal, as per what you would know. And honestly, being apart has diminished the number of talking topics we could chat about. I feel a sense of sorrow everything I voice convo with ya and there's a moment of silence when no one is sure how to go on. It's inevitable though, long distance friendships will never last in a long run. And that saddens me because i know one day we will just completely lose touch. Perhaps you never did feel the same way as I did about friends. It always seemed that way, Friendships are things I'm willing to guard with all that I am, friendships are priceless, and losing a friend is one of the most painful experiences I could ever go through. I don't know why though. Perhaps there was a time I was lonely, struggling in solitude, and had so few earthly friends to speak of, and so every friend to me is a gem. Perhaps that's why I'm so 'doggy' sometimes, I just can't let go of a good friend.

I think you're aware that sometimes you've hurt me unknowingly...don't need to emphasize that. And I think many times I've hurt you as well. But there's always reconciliation i guess. Thank God.

Just can't help thinking back on the day you left Singapore. It was such a sad sight. When everyone was praying for you there was a certain sense of calm, of joy yet a certain sense of yearning and hope that you wouldn't go. I fought to hold back any tears because i wanted you to stay strong. But then again, I've never seen you shed tears, so i suppose you were a stronger person than me any day. Azmi kept teasing me, needless to say, but I tried to remain strong. But it was a sad night. Conflicting emotions. God told me to be joyful but I was quite sad inside. The things i wrote to you on the day before, u still have them? God reminded me that what's most important is Him and not you or myself. So i tried to focus on that.

Sorry lah, I just can't help being emotional sometimes. It's just me. And i know it makes people feel uncomfortable. But there's a part in me that I always try to hide. And I hope you'll understand. Tim is always seen as such a optimistic and happy person. But there are times when i can be down as well. And that's when I needs support.

Perhaps it's my past struggles coming to haunt me again. sigh.

But then. I remember I've always told u to rejoice in the Lord. So i should do that too as well :)

Recently, there's been this Custodian day thing in school. Where custodians are honored and given prizes and stuff. Student Council Initiative. We were given a piece of colored paper to design something for the custodians. Perhaps the response would have been better had you been around ...or had it been a girl's school :D

Anyway...do hope you reply soon k?

Tim

havent got the hw yet cos my cousin is not exactly coming straight to
boston. Now here comes the cliche and almost insincere part. Thanks for
writing all those encouraging stuff. Ok.

About the BB changes, I feel its great (sorry, another cliche), but being
out of touch its hard to imagine, so i guess I'll wait till i get back. In
terms of spiritual life, what happens usually is that we do more reading
the bible as listening to God (or rather listening thru reading the bible)
which is probably why i'm more not so able to grasp meditation and other
stuff Mr Ng classifies as important. So I tried the meditation thing again
and it didnt really work out. I think. MAybe i'm too impatient.

What I really need to do is to sit down and start mugging. I borrowed 2
textbooks (1 physics and 1 chem) form the library.

Chill

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

Ding!

haha you beat me to it again. I was really going to email u today lor, then you emailed first. haiyo. Tim is so slow.

Busy busy busy. Kicking up the studying machine already, but I'm getting tired everyday, studying in bed is the worst studying method and I fall asleep more than half the time and wake up the next day extremely disappointed. QT's been ok, but it's become much tougher with the additional stress of having to study for the exams.

Apparently Carol Low fell and she won't be around for a few weeks...hopefully we'll pray for her. Btw. Loo should be coming back soon. LimChiouYan will be most relieved.

And i realise how fast time is passing. Life is so fleeting you know. Friendships are so short-lived. Pretty soon we'll both be in IB, a totally new experience, exciting yet saddening at the same time. We'll probably all miss each other really lots. But you know what, God always reminds me that one day when we're in heaven, we can enjoy both fellowship with Him, and fellowship with friends and family, for Eternity! That's a great hope to look forward to. Someone asked before, what's the need for friends in heaven if God Himself is the best fellowship we could ever have...well maybe we shld think about this haha. But I think life would be so different without frens. They are the means by which God reaches out to us.

Secret sins. Haiz. I guess one day I'll tell you. And shock you. And probably no one would look at me in the same light again. Tim, the guai guai guy, is not as guai as most people perceive. I've been struggling for what seemed like forever. God has liberated me. But sin still clings on stubbornly and occasionally I slip again. But no worries ding, God will see us through all our struggles as long as we turn to Him.

That love for the old lady. Love, it is so touching, it is so warm, and the feeling of being close to love is so wonderful and inexpressible isn't it? Yet imagine, if humans can offer such love, how much greater is the Love of God above! Many times greater! O how high and how wide, how deep and how great is our Father's love for us. Just thinking about it causes an overwhelming joy to well up within me. Knowing that we are loved brings us such joy and meaning to life. And let's seek to love others as well.

Btw...praise God, for Alex the Lua has agreed to start going to church.

sigh..not much time...will email you again soon :D

Tim the guai

So I finally get down to writing what happened on what seemed to be a very
busy weekend on both sides of the globe. Ok I know its Thursday already but
bear with me.

On that saturday, I went to MIT for the last time. Finally brought home the
"guitar", with mandolin strings (that means 4). Its quite basic and I've
been wrecking different parts of it for no real reason... at least i can say
its manufactured by me (mostly).

Then on Sunday we visit my parent's medical school classmate and her husband
and they bring us to her husband's fathers place. Which was interesting. In
the living/ dining room there was a hospital bed with an elderly lady named
Mary Lou on it. She was (is) the second wife (the first one passed away
decades ago) of my parents' classmate's husband's father. I think she has
some sort of dementia, cos can you just imagine her lying on the bed with
her mouth agape, not very conscious of her surroundings at all. It was a
weekly family gathering (and you thought only some chinese do that). Anyway
later we sang "for she's a jolly good fellow" to her and she responded by
singing and clapping along. I know I haven't described it very well but I
was quite touched by their love for the old lady.

So back to the secret sins thing... erm I havent read our blog too closely
to figure out anything (not that I really want to). So umm, as for me I'm
trying to steer away from it.

Si Yan

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

Ding,

Haha...sometimes it's good to just reflect and think back on life ya? and it's great just to think and think and dwell in the thought of God's great love for us. I'm sure it's not by coincidence that you met that family in the park that day...God probably wanted to provide you all a time of fun and relaxation :D It's true...we may not realise it sometimes...but God's always there showering His blessings upon us! Don't know if you're that kind of nature loving person...but it's great sometimes to sit in the midst of the breeze and you just get that feeling that God is present...that He is so real around us!

hmmm...you probably received your homework by now? Anyway...school news. you owned for EOS lah...21/25, was like second highest in class or something...everyone was like...wah Ding not here still so pro or sth liddat. Sides that...I think I'll leave fab the honor of updating you with interesting school stuff. As for me...i forget all this stuff too easily, and I'm not v.interesting as well..so i'll save you the boredom.

Being overseas...a great experience, is when you appreciate yourself most for being Singaporean.
A Faith without questions is a questionable faith (for those times you doubt)

haha...just two random quotes from Mr Charles Ng. Who incidentally visited me tonight, and we had a short chat, chatted about BB and the life in BB so far, and on how things have really moved on so fast in the last month. And i was telling him about you lor...and fab...when he asked who were my closest friends. It's a real pity you're not here to see the encouraging changes in BB...but hopefully through my telling you of the happenings...it'll really be an encouragement to you as well...as well as a joy to you :D. Many things are happening now... ROD worship was touching to many i must say...thank God. Sec1 REW followup...we're seeking to make an impact in the Sec1s lives. Things are all looking up, and God is working so obviously around us...hopefully it's the same for you over there! When you come back, do continue to share in this joy that we all feel! One in spirit, One in Christ!

Haha..Daniel Yew got mad with us today...for playing with ChongWee's 'pokeball'. I'll go not further...but when he scolds you know something is really wrong with the class. I'll give an update of the Amath syllabus: Relative velocity, Binomial Theorum, Application of Differentiation in Kinematics....remember any help needed for hwk I'll be there for you!

Holiday tomorrow...hopefully i can come on and speak to you or something...really starting to miss ya again! Holiday came after a 15-10 win over RI (ya...not the saints this time)...which we didn't get the watch the match..but instead were forced to stay in school till 1740 for lessons...silly silly mistake. We were half dead by the end of the day. So...finals in 6 weeks..Tim HAS started mugging as usual :D Let's pray for each other.

That said...hope to hear from you about your Christian walk :D Just realised that you left that Mr Ng Book with me in the locker..thanks. Um...any prayer requests? My God Bless you again and again ever so richly Ding! With grace, love, tender mercy, Joy!

Tim :D

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

Um so to follow up the cut convo....

Well some things actually happened. We went to check out a clarinet teacher
for my sis who lives in a neighbouring neighbourhood (abt 1/2 h away). As
usual we brought our football in case of you know what and it was well
utilised as the clarinet teacher pointed out a park at the top of a hill 10
mins uphill walk. When we got to the top we found a great view of Boston
city as well as a large park, with among other equipment a pair of
goalposts. As we reached there another family of 3 also got there and after
about 15 mins of kicking around we had a game (my bro, dad + me vs father,
son, daughter). The gme was fun but as my dad observevd the other father
really looked shacked after the game and felt sorry for me. I sort of got
what he meant in the sense that that guy looke like those prospective heart
attack type, he was heaving hard after running a lot, and it woud be really
bad if his health suffered just because of a game of soccer.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

Si Yan

Tim,

Yeah I kind of figured out that ROD would cause a massive hangover for you,
and finishing the camp also one for me (you know the last night sleep late
thing). I'll continue to pray for you, yeah. For me, its more of being too
comfortable to let go of what I have.

Like yesterday, we went whale watching and saw those humpbacked monsters
diving around and doing the tail thing, just thinking about the fultility in
most things I've been doing, even things I like doing (the ecclesiastes
feeling).

So anyway, thats all I have to say for the while...

Si Yan

Ding,

The Ecclesiastes feeling...hmm, kinda like that of feeling that life is meaningless, pointlessness in everything that we do. I couldn't agree less sometimes, let's have a go shall we?

1) Homework/School Stuff: A degree, a job, what's the point isn't it. We all die one day, we don't take our possessions with us when we go. Money, property all this is meaningless, we cannot find satisfaction in assets. Homework is pointless, why learn all this stuff about differentiation, integration, electromagnetic induction, all this is meaningless, they have no eternal value.

2) Soccer/Hobbies: It's fun! So what? for now it's fun, all fun has to come to an end one day. Enjoyment and pleasures are transient, they come and go, and we'll never find satisfaction there.

3) Wisdom/Knowledge: Again, we can only pursue more and more, an insatiable appetite, a vacuum that can never be fully filled.

I'm sure you could name a lot more. And I'm equally sure you've heard before that the answer to all these 'meaninglessness' lies with God and with Jesus. Jesus is the living bread and water, we that fellowship with Him will never grow thirsty, nor will we grow hungry. We can look to Him for satisfaction. In fact, there is a God-shaped vacuum in every one of us that longs to be filled by God, I think as long as we have God in our hearts, inwardly, we can always find meaning in things that we do.

Let's say, watching humpback whales, sitting back, lying back and watching nature at work, nature's magnificence. Doesn't this already lead you to think of something? That's right! God's magnificence, you know...the reason why God made the world so beautiful was to draw men to Him through creation, it was to reveal to us a very very small portion of his beauty. I've always dreamt of being where you are, of whale-watching, of looking at the wonders of nature. Still remember a time when I was in America, in the embrace of Yosemite valley, surrounded by the surpassing beauty of snow-capped mountains, it was so surreal, it was so beautiful...and my mine went to God. "Who am I that you are mindful of me"....Oh...nature is there to make us feel so small and to appreciate that love that the Father has for us!

Next time you feel meaningless...look to God...ask Him to reveal some sort of meaning to you...I'm sure He will!

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

Hey ding

sorry sorry i tao you unknowingly...sigh...must be more careful with this next time. Was on busy so i didn't get ya..next time will be on a closer watch from 1130 onwards. Hope you didn't get too disappointed k?

haha some people are tough to tolerate huh? and the huggles and 'i love you' thing must get on your nerves...lol doesn't it remind you of doggy little me? But anyway, ya, just bear with people and maybe you'll get to see their better half one day. Enjoy what little time you have left (though you're probably yearning for it to end), just make sure when you come out of this short camp, that something was accomplished. Actually i was wondering, during the camp, when do you do your QT and stuff? and do others actually see you doing it...and...possibly even say things about you? If such things happen, just wanna encourage to keep the faith and keep running strongly toward God no matter what k? Just keep going, God is beside and so are all of your good buddies :D

hmm...about fifa soccer...haha i was nvr too good at computer games as well....worse at the real thing...whenever you think your soccer is lousy, think of Mr Azmi and stop self deprecating...think of tim and start laughing at how you ole him and do your trix past him, think of kenny playing against the wall and laugh, think of fab's emo moments, think of arjun's specs getting knocked off, think of derek's splutz power, think of the times in sch when you were soooo pro...and you won't feel sad no more :D don't wry we'll see each other soon k?

Your homework's coming yes...ahahaah...try to get everything to you lah...needs any help i'll be here k?

Anyway, today was Admin Standby, or otherwise, clean the whole room day...haha we refurbished the whole room, now the common area is smaller, the admin room is bigger, the band room is bigger and there's even a CE corner with all the instruments set up and ready for playing in a band :D. Mr Ng's food supplies have been gorged up (for free hah!) and even the fridge was moved to a new spot and stuff. We scrubbed the floor, did stupid things like clean the floor then step on it again, or mop already then mop again when it's drying...ahaha. Unfortunately, we lost the BB open ball..aiyah!

ROD parade's real close, if there's anything you could pray for me...it would be that the worship would be God-filled, and filled with his presence and spirit, that everyone present would be touched in the heart...not by me, not by emil, not by the music, but by God. Will continue praying for you as well, that you will stay strong in the midst of not-so-good company, and that God will continue to provide you with opportunities to bless others and also to be blessed!

God Bless
gtg now...Tim :D

Hey Tim,

You did it again, but nevermind lar I understand. And my roommate is not
doggish like you. not at all. and no one sees me do qt cos no one really is
awake at 8am. This is short.

(The continuation).

There are nice people here and not so nice people. It just happens that the
epitome of the latter is my roommate. He calls me a fucking idiot for not
playing winning eleven. When we play Fifa, he gloats over me at every
opportunity. ok he does that to everyone, but especially me. I can't really
stand him and I'm just trying to cool off right now. So in a sense, although
I probably will miss this place, there isn't really much to miss.

One thing I realise is that I can't really resist the urge to prove myself.
To prove that I'm good at soccer (he was taunting me for letting in a goal
from past the halfway line. ok, first it was past the halfway line and
secondly it went in the top left corner but he still thinks i'm rubbish). So
what I'm getting at is that I haven't really fully broken free from trying
to prove myself, which is why I still have this wedge between him and me.
I'll never be able to prove I'm better at soccer or ok at fifa to him cos he
will never see that, and if I try to say something about it, its just going
to make me angrier and provoke him to making me feel worse (it happens all
the time). So in short, I should try to keep away from him. I think.

I managed to weasel my way out of doing the final presentations for both
classes. In creative it was more of a choice, so I obviously said no while
in persuavive, I had to persuade them not to use my pieces, and I think the
teacher wasnt too happy with that. I mean I can understand its my fault, as
I should have told her earlier so she could choose other people's work
instead, so I apologised to her.

Meanwhile, I've no idea what I'm gonna do now cos it looks like I'm not
going back to that room for a while, so maybe I'll start packing up? I just
get this feeling I messed up this whole thing, like yes I learnt new stuff
but I could have done so much more. And don't worry about the roommate
thing. I'm not sad or angry or having any emotion you think I may be having.
So don't worry.

Si Yan

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

Hey Tim,

I tried to talk to you at 1230, but nooo, someone didn't reply. The soccer
thing is just sad. I mean some people say I'm playing well when I'm
obviously not. Like today we played again and I was either defender or
goalie. I guess i'm fine with that, seeing the others were as good if not
better than me so yeah. I made one nice save, like jumpedfull stretch thing
but that was a slow ball. Then I let one from behind the half way line in
(like I didnt even bother to try to save that one) and one from the near
post (my fault on that).

The toothpaste thing might be Ze monster, except no one does that for 4 out
of 7 nights, and I'm the one cleaning up all the hardened toothpaste (you
wanna try?). At least my teacher didn't take the leprechaun thing seriously.
Today I quickly wrote a "college application essay" and the two most
outspoken people in class read it and said it was good. As I said before,
you would own me, so would Daryl, Arj and Fab at this sort of thing. When I
get to a comp which can actually download word documents, I'll send them to
you.

Thanks for collecting my hw, I'll get back just in time to start doing...

Ok, the thing with my roommate is that he completely doesnt care about what
I feel, like the night stuff, and when playing soccer or fifa when I screw
up he will use verbal abuse and stuff, and he tried to do the
pull-your-pants down thing and he's really messy and above all that he would
just come up to me and hug like "I love you" and I really want to scream at
him but I can't. I guess I need to tolerate him and thats probably what I'm
going to continue doing. He has his good points. Like he's such a heavy
sleeper so If I wake up early (which i always do) I can make as much noise
as I want.

k, to finish some work

Si Yan

Hmmm...what's with the toothpaste all splattered on you? was it some weird BB-like Ze monster thing again?

And about the soccer, don't worry about it, even if people don't recognize you for your skills (and it's not easy on a pitch of 50 odd people), you will always be in our hearts as one of the best soccer players ever! Dont' lose self respect for yourself k? As long as you have self-respect, which comes from knowing God loves you and made you just the way you are, you'll always be strong!

I guess everyone has their bad days, i've had quite a few myself, i suppose just trust in God lor, there has to be a reason for everything that happens right? Anyway, today's QT was about
forgiving one another in order to draw back to God again, if anybody has done you any wrong (there must be quite a few where you are), never forget to forgive as you are forgiven.

Your homework is coming v.soon from your couz, and i'll try to mail you a surprise as well i guess :D well not much or a surprise but i'll try

Today was national day, now, wherever you are, don't forget your homeland in Singapore. And wherever you are on earth, don't forget your ultimate home in heaven!

I guess I'l sign off here with my shortest messages yet...it's kinda late now...like 1 am plus. Anyway, check out didyouevertalktogod.blogspot.com...i know the skin is werid at the moment, but give it time k? :D

God Bless Ya

Tim

Hey tim,
I guess is quite bad of me to dump all my emotional baggage on you
but I will do so anyway. Today was screwed up at best. Starting from last
nite. I woke up at 12 to find toothpaste smeared over my face. then 15 mins
later, a secong time. I spent 45 mins i the morning clearing up the
toothpaste on the door and on the floor and everywhere. In creative writing
class, I was like non-existent (as usual). I don't usually volunteer to
comment or anything (though that might seem selfish here), so I pretty much
kept quiet unless she called me. Then I found out she was Irish and had this
irresistible urge to ask her whther she believed in leprechauns (i really
didnt know it was a racial slur). They day got screwier. After apologising
to her we had this debate in persuasive writing about the death penalty (how
cliche). Anyway I had to bring up the drug pusher gets death thing, so it
was the most used example throughout the debate. The more vocal guys there
seem to be in like Model UN ( the JMac thing) so they go through al the
protocol (like idiots). Then soccer sucked , cos although it was nice
astroturf, my knees are cut and there were like 50 ppl on the field. no one
passed to me so i played defender, and almost everytime i went up the other
team scored. I was quite sad cos I never got to show them my skills ( there
were better ppl, but i played like crap). I wanted to prove to them I'm not
some guy who cant play both soccer on xbox and real soccer. But then after
the ngame i realised theres nothing to prove and it really doesn't matter if
they leave summer challenge thinking i suck at both . It's fine with me i
guess. Then there was this dance thing at nite, where the ppl show their
true weirdo colours. there was this Banana girl (dressed up in a banana).
Trying to do work now

Bye
Si Yan

Hi Ding,

lol like real me and arjun and...ok maybe daryl can lah...write better than you...haha. But that's a great boost for you in a way, glad to know that you're finally feeling a little joy in your circumstances. Haha...feel free to send me the stuff that you write so that i can have a whiff of it.

National Day today, you missed your Gold UYO award you dope...you were on the list :P. Anyway, we got quite badly reprimanded by Mr Ng, for coming 25 mintues late, which was mostly our fault but we were kinda all distracted that morning...sigh. Anyway, Apparently coz we were late, Mr Ng got publicly embarassed when Keith Tan scolded him in front of students...wah keith tan..who was making funny noises, Leon Lim noticed and he was repeating it over and over during the ceremony and driving us nuts.

Guess i shld update you a little on the happenings here...it would make my posts more fun (haha because I am emailing ding, i will not have the time to blog.)

It was cross country a few days back, we got to serve at the milo van...but didn't get free milo...sigh. Anyway, was running alongside Ben Chan and others since Bong was like waaaaaaayyyy ahead...it was the usual 3.2 km route, was quite a relaxing run actually. Haha...we were actually late for cross-country, playing soccer in the Astro field for like 2 hours before going off, and even after soccer i went down to the Admin room to find Bong playing Little fighter 2....and to help 2 girls get some container for their drinks (which was like super tiny lah...so i dunno what happened later...). We went to the bus stop to find Ben Chan there...apparently having missed five 74s...lol...fab had half the mind to walk there.

ROD this saturday. A really really big day for all of us. There's Live Praise which God has so graciously allowed me to lead...of course alongside Emil...who ever since picking up guitar, really really wants to play guitar for live praise. Today was like the practice of Live Praise, which went horribly chaotic, no one was listening to each other, was so disappointed...but after some time, thank God it became much better when ppl started to focus on God and not on their own playing. Life changing experiences are about to happen, can just feel it....just today, spoke to Asher about our spiritual lives and stuff, and God gave the opportunity to talk to him and encourage him to draw back to God and closer to God (esp before the ROD worship day). You see, what is most important is the heart and not tne music or the ppl. We all have to prepare our hearts. Support us in prayer k? Pray for a God-filled Live Praise!

IOC coming up! Romeo and Juliet is quite tough indeed. Mdm Loo is coming back in a few weeks :D. National day is today. There's some new national day song..haha...but for comm. singing we stuck to the highly effective REach out for the skies!! of course with that weird MTV from last year as well :D. Tomorrow's a holiday, so maybe i can be online more! haha hope to see you. But till then. communicate by email lor :D

Regards, Tim

GOD BLESS YOU!!

Hey,
today was great. For this first class it was my turn to present a piece, so
i wrote about the beach thingy with that guy and some people actually liked
it . maybe i'll send it to you sometime soon. Then in the second
class,persuasive writing, they had to choose 2 essays (that we submitted on
friday)out of 4 and mine was one of the 4. it was like 1263 words, the
longest. than i convinced them that it was too long to be read out on the
final day so they ditched it.
Am i ever so glad. They seemed to think it was good when in reality arjun
and you and daryl and just about anyone else in our class can write much
better

Ding

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

Hey Tim,

I dont really remember saying anything about your blog. I was just kind of
sad lar. And it hit hard in church today. like when they were singing the
chorus of "Above All" during the holy communion (of which i cannot partake),
I just started crying. the only problem was that i dont really know why i
was crying, like out of self-pity or cos I was really sad that i didnt stand
up for Him ...

i'm currently mentally stable.

I guess those guys were dissing the evangelist dude cos he was a bit off
also... but I dunno whther I could ever have his courage. So like if what he
said is a bit off, what they said about Jesus was quite hurtful too. I dunno
lar, I'm still hanging out with those people half the time. Maybe i'm being
Elijah-ish (like acting depressed, as if I'm the only one when theres 100s
of other Christians around).

Si Yan

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...